Black Rose’s blog

Ok, is it just me, or do I seem to write in here only when I’m waiting for one sort of doctor or another? :-o Today, I’m in the waiting room at the VA for Pa. He’s having a colonoscopy done today. His second one, because they found a polyp that they couldn’t excise the last time he was in. L Not good. They don’t think it’s cancerous, but ya never know, right?

Later today, I have an appt w/ Dermatology. Fun fun fun Hey, at least I’m finally getting into the Derm clinic. I’ve been trying since we got up here to get in there. I need to get in and see someone about the cystic acne on my face and back. So, today should be relatively painless and quick. :D

Ashe is supposed to go out w/ ***HIM*** tonite. They’ll go to the Point as usual. :D Sounds like a good time. I’m staying home, because I’ve had vertigo the past few days. I’m doing okay at the moment, but I’m not taking chances. I do NOT want to have the world start spinning when I least expect it. JUST what I need to do, throw up all over the place, although, I haven’t felt nauseated with the vertigo. Just dizzy and fuzzy headed. NOT fun. Ashe is worried that it could be my heart doing it. Mom says it’s possible, too. But, it could also just be I’m going through withdrawals from the caffeine.

Sitting here in the waiting room, I’m being subjected to Jerry Springer. UGH!!! “Kung Fu Hillbilly” Goddess save me, please? I doubt it. What in the name of all things holy did I do to deserve being tortured by this?? I can’t STOP myself from watching this. Ugh. Crack TV? I guess. J Dad Southard would just be SCREAMING at the TV about now, I’m sure. They’re parodying Native Americans, badly. Ugh

I’m tired, I wanna sleep. I didn’t get to sleep until sometime after 2 this morning, Ashe woke me up when he got home at 4, and I got woke up by my alarm at 7:30. Round about 4 ½ hrs sleep. I’ve made do on fewer, tho. I’ll go to bed early-ish tonite, I guess.

Was reading back over some of what I wrote last Thursday (?) and remembered I have to go down and talk to GG about setting up an appt w/ Gardella sometimes soon so she can have her bitch fit over the fact I won’t take the injections anymore. I am not sorry, I can *NOT* handle the emotional side-effects to the injections. I can’t take being borderline suicidal for two or three weeks out of the month. NOT an option, know what I mean? It’s bad enough when I’m suicidal on my own, I don’t need a treatment for the endometriosis triggering suicidal feelings because I just wanna die to make it all stop.

I told Wendy about this when I was in there last week. She agrees with me that my being suicidal with the meds is a good reason to stop taking them. I just don’t like the emotional rollercoaster the injections put me on. It’s not worth the little bit of help I was getting from them. Hell, they weren’t even stopping my period the way they were supposed to. Hello? Wasn’t that the whole point of going ON the damn treatment? To stop my period so to stop the pain that accompanies my periods? So what’s the point of continuing the treatment if it’s not doing what it was supposed to?? There IS no point! Which IS my point. LOL Get the POINT? ROFLMAO

So, now we’re back to relying on the IUD for birth control. Fun fun fun At least I trust it. Hell, I’m tempted to have the damn thing removed, because I honestly don’t think I can conceive again. I think I’m infertile now. Hell, I’ve lost one fallopian tube, one ovary (on the same side, thank the Goddess). But, I honestly don’t think I can get pregnant again. L I want another one, but the chances of that happening get slimmer and slimmer every day. L

March 17, 2008, 3:49 PM

Ok, I’m done with my clinic now. I’m being put on an anti-biotic for the cystic acne and folliculitis. If the oral antibiotics take care of the problem when I return in two months, then we’ll start me on an antibiotic lotion.

We’re currently driving around to head for home, because we need to get Pa some food. Poor man hasn’t eaten since sometimes (noon, I think) on Saturday. So, he’s starving! He hasn’t had any coffee or Pepsi since then either. So he’s dying for something to eat or drink.

Ashe can’t believe that I can type and ride at the same time, but I can’t read and drive. It’s funny. I don’t know how it’s different, but it is.

Ok, so I don’t just write in here when I’m waiting for the doctor. Today, we’re at Kiana Lodge waiting for Ashe to have his all employee meeting that happens every three months. Yay. The only upshot to that is, A) I’m not at home with the parents, and B) **HE** might be at this one. They have the choice of the 1:30, an 8:00am or a 5:30 one this evening. So, there’s a chance that **he** might be at this one. IDK if they talked about what time they were going to last night, but… meh, I can hope, right? But, anyways, I’m sitting here with my computer and blog while Bubba watches Scooby Doo 2 on the van’s dvd player. J Happy Bubba. LOL

ROFL He’s YELLING at the movie! As if it’s gonna change this time (he’s seen it enough times he can recite some of the scenes and sing the songs on the soundtrack). “I can’t watch this one!” (translation from Bubba speak: “I can’t watch this part”) He’s an adorable little brat. Too cute for his own good sometimes. LOL

As usual, I’m tired. I didn’t get up until about 11:30, tho. Went to bed around midnight, maybe close to 1:00am, fell asleep sometime shortly thereafter. But, still I’m tired. As always. I don’t think I’m ever going to NOT be tired every again.

I just wish Ashe’s meeting would be done and over with already. Part of me wants to see *him* part of me is really hoping we DON’T see him.